Sunday, November 30, 2014


This poem is dedicated to all our forces and their mothers for giving their brave children to the nation.

Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Dealing with "Break-up"...

After a break-up, dealing with the grief is one of the most complicated yet common problems among people in all age groups. 

Prolonged and untreated grief is becoming one of the major health issues in the modern society. Lead researcher Richard Bryant, a professor of psychology at the University of New South Wales in Sydney, Australia said, "Prolonged grief disorder is a big public health issue." Sometimes, prolonged grief and depression leads to inability to perform daily activities and, in worst cases, it can lead to death directly or indirectly. In extreme cases, this grief turns out be fatal. Recently, there was news about a couple, who were married for 73 years and died within 48 hours of each other. 

In Indian culture, with the loss of the joint family system as well as personal interaction with friends and family members, society is losing the strong emotional support system that once did wonders to bring the grieving person back into normal life. Thus, falling out of love and the grieving process have become more complicated.

Although professional counselling and therapy facilities are available, it is unreachable to most as it is either expensive or generic in nature.

Grief resulting from a break-up usually takes more recovery time compared to other emotional or financial loss (loss of home/job/friends...).

Check out some of the following grief-related symptoms:
- You dream or think of the person for more than half the time you are awake.
- You read or see your beloved's letters or pictures or in some form; you mostly remain in the past.
- You lose interest in other things or goals in life; for example, your career and food. At large in your life, everything looks meaningless

You must seek help if these symptoms start getting worse.... feeling numb, unable to trust others, or in the worst case, unable to perform daily activities. 

In most cases, you can develop your own fallback process by doing some of the following by yourself.

Initial process:
- Initially, talk to a trusted one about lost person, relationship, and memories. But, later, avoid talking about the person completely. 

Blank out:
- Avoid the person in all forms - personal interaction, visiting their accounts over the networking sites about updates, talking to common friends, reading their letters/mails, or checking out pictures.
- Take a regular walk: 
This is beneficial not only for your health, but also to cure depression, loneliness, and sadness

Life - Goal and Meaning:
- Start writing what are your goals in your life.
- Write your goals and add a timeline to it (write a book, attend school for a higher degree, or go trekking/camping, or develop a hobby).
These new activities not only keep you away from painful memories of the person, but also help you meet new friends to talk about yourself and your achievements. This is very important to bring back your lost self-esteem if you have faced rejection.
- Review your goal with someone senior, a trusted person, or validate it by carrying out in-depth research.
- One rejection won't make you worth less; in-fact, you should go beyond that "idiot's" imagination and show "who is the loser."

Worth of the person: 
- Write down all the people in your life who helped you through thick and thin and compare if "the lost person" did anything close to your expectations.

Count your blessings: 
- Meet people who are less fortunate and help them. There is no joy bigger than seeing a smile on another's face because of you. Go and visit plenty of such places and spend time in bringing some smiles on less fortunate ones...that happiness will help you restore your lost "self-worth," if any. 

Accept your Life:
-  Believe that there is always better waiting for you. This is a belief of "some way God is protecting you" and wanting to give you more or better... Gita says, "Whatever happens, happens for good." It works.
Accept your Destiny:
- Above all, trust you destiny. This simple thought will help you cope with your loss. This teaches you to "accept life as it comes." Scientifically, when you are dealing with grief, the process will start from rejection, anger, negotiation, and acceptance. Hindu philosophy has nicely described this in Gita to live a satisfied life by accepting destiny. Life, without someone, is never incomplete. It is always you who decides how to complete and complement with or without a person.

When you focus on your life and life-goals, your "loss" eventually seems too immaterial to care about. You will find inspiring goals and the thoughts of achieving those goals will give you a "kick" to your brain.

No person in your life is larger than "you." For you and your life, ONLY you will matter eventually.

Please remember that everyone takes different time to heal, depending on the relationship, involvement, and grieving person's emotional status. 

Another important suggestions is - don't break-up over silly reasons because - 
"No one is perfect and no relationship is flawless." 

You will end up wasting time in finding the new "right partner" and establishing the relationship every is too short for this.

Treating equal pain and pleasure, gain and loss, victory and defeat, thus engage yourself in the battle and you will incur no sin.


Battle for the sake of battle.
Loss does not depress, Victory does not exhilarate… 

and a new battle begins in the life ...

1. Bhagavad Gita 

#breakup #heartbreak #love #life #sandhyajane

© Copyright 2012-14 Sandhya Jane

Monday, October 20, 2014

Poem on - Indian Election 2014

Why Modi?
Some say he is smatter & some say he is hard-worker;
Some say he is manipulator & some say he is developer;
Some say he is traitor & some say he is leader;
Some say he is actor & some say he is thinker;
But, in this election,
none can ignore that he the ONLY factor
for making this nation stronger and better….
-- Sandhya Jane

Honesty has its own price…
When we praise development, people hear party;
When we praise leadership, people hear person;
When we praise governance, people hear communalism;
When we praise alliance, people hear opportunism;
When we praise patriotism, people hear fanaticism…

Friends, do not try to find any hidden meaning,
which is just not there, because,
This is a wall of 'truth', not a fiction;
This is wall of 'honesty', not a mystery,
and here is NO place for sycophancy or treachery …
-- Sandhya Jane

(written in Mar 2014 during election)

(written in Mar 2014 during election)

Sunday, October 5, 2014

I will be there for you...

When the memories will fade; 
I will appear as a ‘hope’ at your door step.

When you will be distracted by ‘greed’; 
I will appear as a ‘lighthouse’ to show you the path.

When you will be thirsty; 
I will appear as a ‘spring’ at every corner of your journey…

When you will be in ‘dilemma’; 
I will appear as an ‘inner voice’ to direct your thoughts.

When you will be sad; 
I will appear as a ‘clown’ to make you happy.

Whenever you will feel my ‘absence’; 
I will touch your heart and make you feel my presence…

---translated by Sandhya Jane..

-- Poet: Girish Morje 

Saturday, October 4, 2014

अधुरे ख़्वाब ... (Incomplete Dream...)


सालों की उम्मीदों को,
दिल की अरमानों को,
लेकर चला अपनी मंज्ञिलों को...

सामने वो खड़ी थी.....
मगर उसकी नज़र पराई थी,
आंखों में दुसरे की परछाईं थी,
एहसासों में कीसी की ख़ुशबु थी...

मुस्कुरा कर मैं ने कहा -
चलता हुँ मैं और
तु ख़याल रखना यहाँ...

सपने छुटे, उम्मीदें टूटे,
जब होश आया,
कहीं से कानों शब्द पड़े -
तु चला पाने अपनी मंज्ञिलों को,
तक़दीर हुँ मैं, जिसने
लिखी हैं तेरी मंज्ञिलों को...

ख़्वाईश और तक़दीर में
काफ़ी है अंतर है दोस्त...
तु ने सिर्फ़ अपनी ही सोची,
मैं ने उसमे औरों की भी सोची,
ये ही हैं नई मंज्ञिलें तेरी,
कर्म में ही अब तक़दीर हैं तेरी...

तेरा कर्म और मेरी लकीर,
दोनों से बुनी हैं तेरी तक़दीर,
अब बढ उस मंज्ञिल की ओर,
सामने हैं तेरा नया मुक़्क़दर,
भुल जा बीती पुरानी,
लिख ले अब नई कहानी...

#goal #success #life #beauty #heartbreak #love #destiny #poem #sandhyajane

© Copyright 2012-14 Sandhya Jane

Valentines Day

#romance #life #love #valentineday #valentine #sandhya #Jane #sandhyajane
© Copyright 2012-14 Sandhya Jane