This blog I wrote after I watched Tanu Weds Manu Returns....the movie projected a lonely life of lady who married to NRI so realistically...
Living in London or New York or Sydney isn't all that rosy or what you see in the movie....NRIs, especially their spouses face lonely life
abroad which is a fact unfortunately. Many women find it difficult especially those who grew up in joint family system or large friends circle or busy
social life in India...
All that glitter is not gold...the life outside India is full of uncertainty as jobs, visa and lack of supports makes it more stressful. During initial days, most have to go through visa hassles and obtaining their permanent residency status that may take up to 7-10 years depends on the country they live in and the category of labor applications.
So the key is - how to cope up with lonely life during initial days of marriage when you have
not started your family. Here are few tips for you to make it better and brighter –
Professional Education:
If you wish to pursue your career and you need specialized or professional education, you can plan for the same. It would be best investment at early stage to jumpstart to your professional career. This planning must be done before you plan for your kid(s) as it would be extremely difficult, but not impossible to continue with additional responsibilities. A dependent spouse
can study part time in university by taking 6 credit hours (2 classes) per semester without having to
change the visa in most countries. If you could take average 6-7 classes in 4 semester, you can complete your master’s degree
within two years.
Take up a Job: If the local government permits you to work, you can take up a job. The most common website for this is 'indeed.com'. All you need to do it is - enter job/role and location, it will fetch the data from relevant websites and compile the results for you. You can register for the job alerts using by providing by signing up on indeed.
Increase Your Social
Life: This is bit tricky as bigger social life may not always result into happiness, so try and find like minded friends to form an active social circle. The easy way to do is to become a member of
Facebook group, meet-up group or what’s up group to find your interest group with whom you
can meet occasionally to socialize for different reasons.
Craigslist is quite popular in USA for finding activity
partners...
Most of the major cities in the world have Indian diaspora that arranges festival or gathering on Diwali, Navratri, Durga Puja, Holi and so on...
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| Holy Celebration on Hong Kong Beach |
Hobby: If you are not serious about your career or wish to start something different, try to check if you can get back
to your hobby that you always wanted to pursue. It will keep you busy and happy. If you are really passionate about it, you can earn
money through your hobby by selling your creations such as knitwear, pottery,
paintings and freelance writing.
Another form of hobbies are attending paining exhibitions, operas and concerts in your city.
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| Taiwan Eye, famous Opera Theater in Taiwan |
Activity: The adventurous activities not only help you to boost your mood, but also help you stay fit. There are many social clubs or meetup groups or Facebook groups who arrange hiking, trekking, surfing or sailings. You need not worry about buying a boat as you can hire it at reasonable cost.
The types of activities are barbecues parties over the weekend with friends and family...
Most of these activities are suitable for kids. You may involve and introduce these activities to your kids at early age to generate an interest. This would be nice way to connect family members well over the weekends.
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| Famous Treks in Hong Kong |
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| Barbecue over the weekend in Tai Tam Dam |
Internet TV: First thing you need to do is check if your TV package is 'good' for you. Nothing can substitute TV programs to fill-in your time. There are many internet TV service providers who offer annual subscription at competitive price. They include Indian as well as global TV channels. Most of these TV channels have 'movies' sections that offer excellent collections.
You can complement that with google or other internet shopping for movies and other things...
Reading: Most of the cities have city library for free or membership in affordable cost. You can spend time, to read, to discuss the topics or to make friends something that makes you happy...or join reading club to
keep yourself content.
Connecting with your
family: These days international calls are cheaper or free due to 'what's up' and free skype, but, remember that not
everyone in India is free to chat endlessly over the phone as they too have
their own life/commitments...so don't be offended if your friends or family members are
not available to chat with you.
Social Work: There are plenty of social or community work options available. You
can volunteer to keep yourself occupied in
meaningful way. Many communities have annual program planned and mentioned in their office. Sometime you may not be able participate on regular basis. You can check them out as it would provide you an option to regular participations.
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| Hanuman Carnival - Community program in Hong Kong |
Spouse and his role: You can’t
bother your bother for your loneliness as he/she would be much more stressed
with job and visa related issues...allow your spouse to work/live peacefully...
There could be more on your plate at home in absence of maid or helper as you may have to do the daily chores. You may be able to hire part time or weekend basis in US, UK or Australia, but their services are very expensive, except in Hong Kong, Singapore and middle east...where you have an option for live-in helpers at affordable cost.
So, be prepared to face all the reality abroad and create your own world...Life is what you make it.
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