A life of NRI (non resident Indian) spouse: Opportunities and Challenges

This blog I wrote after I watched Tanu Weds Manu Returns....the movie projected a lonely life of lady who married to NRI so realistically...

Living in London or New York or Sydney isn't all that rosy or what you see in the movie....NRIs, especially their spouses face lonely life abroad which is a fact unfortunately. Many women find it difficult especially those who grew up in joint family system or large friends circle or busy social life in India...

All that glitter is not gold...the life outside India is full of uncertainty as jobs, visa and lack of supports makes it more stressful. During initial days, most have to go through visa hassles and obtaining their permanent residency status that may take up to 7-10 years depends on the country they live in and the category of labor applications.

So the key is - how to cope up with lonely life during initial days of marriage when you have not started your family. Here are few tips for you to make it better and brighter –

Professional Education: If you wish to pursue your career and you need specialized or professional education, you can plan for the same. It would be best investment at early stage to jumpstart to your professional career. This planning must be done before you plan for your kid(s) as it would be extremely difficult, but not impossible to continue with additional responsibilities. A dependent spouse can study part time in university by taking 6 credit hours (2 classes) per semester without having to change the visa in most countries. If you could take average 6-7 classes in 4 semester, you can complete your master’s degree within two years.

Take up a Job: If the local government permits you to work, you can take up a job. The most common website for this is 'indeed.com'. All you need to do it is - enter job/role and location, it will fetch the data from relevant websites and compile the results for you. You can register for the job alerts using by providing by signing up on indeed.

Increase Your Social Life: This is bit tricky as bigger social life may not always result into happiness, so try and find like minded friends to form an active social circle.  The easy way to do is to become a member of Facebook group, meet-up group or what’s up group to find your interest group with whom you can meet occasionally to socialize for different reasons.

Craigslist is quite popular in USA for finding activity partners...

Most of the major cities in the world have Indian diaspora that arranges festival or gathering on Diwali, Navratri, Durga Puja, Holi and so on...

Holy Celebration on Hong Kong Beach

Hobby: If you are not serious about your career or wish to start something different, try to check if you can get back to your hobby that you always wanted to pursue. It will keep you busy and happy. If you are really passionate about it, you can earn money through your hobby by selling your creations such as knitwear, pottery, paintings and freelance writing.

Another form of hobbies are attending paining exhibitions, operas and concerts in your city. 

Taiwan Eye, famous Opera Theater in Taiwan

Activity: The adventurous activities not only help you to boost your mood, but also help you stay fit. There are many social clubs or meetup groups or Facebook groups who arrange hiking, trekking, surfing or sailings. You need not worry about buying a boat as you can hire it at reasonable cost.

The types of activities are barbecues parties over the weekend with friends and family...

Most of these activities are suitable for kids. You may involve and introduce these activities to your kids at early age to generate an interest. This would be nice way to connect family members well over the weekends. 

Famous Treks in Hong Kong

Barbecue over the weekend in Tai Tam Dam

Internet TV: First thing you need to do is check if your TV package is 'good' for you. Nothing can substitute TV programs to fill-in your time. There are many internet TV service providers who offer annual subscription at competitive price. They include Indian as well as global TV channels. Most of these TV channels have 'movies' sections that offer excellent collections.

You can complement that with google or other internet shopping for movies and other things...

Reading: Most of the cities have city library for free or membership in affordable cost. You can spend time, to read, to discuss the topics or to make friends something that makes you happy...or join reading club to keep yourself content.

Connecting with your family: These days international calls are cheaper or free due to 'what's up' and free skype, but, remember that not everyone in India is free to chat endlessly over the phone as they too have their own life/commitments...so don't be offended if your friends or family members are not available to chat with you.

Social Work: There are plenty of social or community work options available. You can volunteer to keep yourself occupied in meaningful way. Many communities have annual program planned and mentioned in their office. Sometime you may not be able participate on regular basis. You can check them out as it would provide you an option to regular participations. 

Hanuman Carnival - Community program in Hong Kong

Spouse and his role: You can’t bother your bother for your loneliness as he/she would be much more stressed with job and visa related issues...allow your spouse to work/live peacefully... 

There could be more on your plate at home in absence of maid or helper as you may have to do the daily chores. You may be able to hire part time or weekend basis in US, UK or Australia, but their services are very expensive, except in Hong Kong, Singapore and middle east...where you have an option for live-in helpers at affordable cost. 

So, be prepared to face all the reality abroad and create your own world...Life is what you make it. 

Read 2 Win - Second Spring by Sandhya Jane

This "Read 2 Win" Contest"

Simply buy the book and win the contest by sending a picture, order id and one line quote at - book.promoter1@gmail.com



SECOND SPRING by Sandhya Jane








#secondspring #sandhyajane

Second Spring - READER’S MOMENT

This is copied from Ankita Chauhan's Blog

• Love in Life is never a battle of 'win' or 'loss' but a journey of unconditional acceptance.” 
• Love has a tendency to go out of the window when promises go awry, reality sets in, and responsibilities take over.
• Women are emotional and proud creatures. They need to be respected and cherished in a relationship or else things don’t work out. 
• Life comes with no guarantees. Who knows whether the next day’s sun will dawn at all? Best to savor everything right now. 
• I loved the anonymity that a mega city brought to my life. Nobody cared who you were or what you did, you were just a speck in the crowd. 
• Loving someone selflessly would mean praying for his or her happiness whether you are part of that happiness or not.
• If you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt. Once we cross the deepest part of hurt, it doesn’t hurt anymore. You become part of the eternal journey of love… no hurt, no worries, and one just prays for the wellbeing of other person —that’s true love for you. Innumerable poets and philosophers throughout history have tried to figure it out— partially or incompletely. Love is a destined journey. 
• Perfect maturity is to understand why your loved one did what they did, although their actions hurt you, hurting them back is not an option. 

Overall, It’s an light hearted fiction, If you want to spend a beautiful weekend. Go For it.

http://soundingwords.blogspot.hk/2016/02/book-review-second-spring-by-sandhya.html

Poems inspired by - Second Spring: Sandhya Jane

#secondSpring  #bestseller #contemporaryromance #lovestory #SandhyaJane  #romance #Poem, #poetry #novel #book #life #love #longing #inspiration

International Women's Day: Role, Responsibility and Realization

On this Women's Day, I salute my mother and all those other women who silently and selflessly work for the betterment of their families, and in effect the society. In their endeavour to help their spouses and kids, they often surrender their own identity. This, mind you, is one of the biggest sacrifices made by countless women across the globe.

Having said that, I am often reminded of a favourite topic from the 1980s and 1990s urban India: Women’s Lib.

A few days ago while again thinking about that subject, some questions criss-crossed my mind. In the name of that “liberation” (real or a derived one) are we actually losing out on something bigger? Doesn’t that freedom also entail a strong sense of “responsibility”? What about the larger consequences for the institutions of family and society?

These questions are tricky and their answers manifold.

Actually social changes are so tedious that sometime it takes decades before they even manifest themselves for better or for worse. Therefore, the latent benefits of traditional values are neither understood nor appreciated by most of us.

The “Hum do, humare do” (We two, ours two), or these days “We two ours, one” family culture, together with the economic independence achieved by women have added that strong sense of individualism to the modern society, especially in the urban scenario. Thus, making modern women (and men) feel oppressed when sharing home with their parents, in-laws or other elders of the family. These days, a joint family may just include parents of either spouse or both. For instance, in Mainland China, the government’s ‘One Child Policy’ has resulted in parents of both spouses often sharing a home together!

In India, lack of presence of elders at home is leading to depletion of age-old knowledge and wisdom among youngsters that has conventionally been passed one generation to the next. As a consequence, we have been very slow in realizing the value-based upbringing that present day kids have been missing out. In fact, tradition is actually the backbone that has kept our culture alive for centuries in the Indian family system.

Interestingly, compared to several other ancient civilizations, the Hindu civilization has managed to retain its continuity over the past several millenia. According to Indian politician and economist Subramanian Swamy, the Hindu civilization is among the 46 ancient civilizations listed by the United Nations Educational, Scientific and Cultural Organization (UNESCO). While 45 other civilizations have disappeared, the Hindu civilization is the only one that has survived. The traditional family system has played a key role in helping Hindus retain their culture and tradition despite 800 years of Islamic rule and 200 years of Christian rule under the British East India Company.

Some of us may like to argue about availability of plenty of knowledge in other different modes; but I personally feel that valuable time could be lost just trying to 'judge' the relevance of that information.

The impact is being felt not only in India, but most part of the globe. The Time magazine’s recent cover story ‘I, Me & Myself’ makes for an interesting read.

The young minds today are swayed by popular media that essentially promotes this 'I, me and myself' culture, which is neither good for individuals, families or the society; of course the same isn't good for a nation too. It only serves to foster an increased sense of greed and lack of empathy, which lead towards a highly materialistic yet empty lifestyle, with possibly negative impact on both personal and professional lives of individuals.

So is there is a real need for us to revisit traditional value systems, including the joint family, as they may have a hugely positive impact on youngsters. If such arrangement isn’t feasible, we can make up for that through simple acts such as celebrating festivals together or taking family vacations.

While letting go of that 'deceived sense of freedom', let us think of our children and their future so that they learn the basic value of life such as ethics, love and sacrifice, ultimately, learning to lead a contended and peaceful life.

It may sound somewhat primitive, but it doesn’t take a lot to ponder over the benefits of imbibing centuries old wisdom.

Second Spring - Review

Ms Jasleen Kaur, a blogger writes - 
The poem in the concluding chapter gives you a feeling of warmth. It seems you are reading the whole book again in a new and delicate way. There are some surprises waiting in the end. They cross your eyes one after the other, making it hard to leave the book. Every chapter has something new. The end is remarkable, completely unexpected and it makes your reading experience delightful.

Eye-catchers-

·  “...home cooked food, was rarer than a blue moon.”

· “This was again the old school thought of his priorities over my needs.”

· “Life comes with no guarantee who knows whether the next day’s sun will dawn at all!”

· “The vacuum was still there and moreover, he was still there as a part of me.”

· “It was wonderful to be cared for by a person who had seen so much of the world.”

Turn-on’s-

The narration is surely the best part in the story. It compliments the tale well and doesn’t bore you. The perfect balance between the portions given to a character for narration, commendable. It is a perfect way to start and end some heart wrenching ideas that a reader gets while reading.

Blurb-

Avantika, in her late thirty’s, doing exceptionally well in her professional and personal life. The monster headed boss and a very warm single mother of Aarav. Things were always her way, either at home or office.

Things never bothered her because she was exhausted due to work and responsibilities. The story is never complete without a man to sway the wind. Rohan, a new chapter in Avantika’s life make things smooth and harsh in her life, during different phases.

She felt nice when he was around, she was forgetting her past. But then things aren’t set up the way we want. What happens when things didn’t work? What happens when spirituality hit the nerves of Avantika? What happened when she quit being a boss? Will things get right for the protagonist Rohan and Avantika?

Title-

Second spring doesn’t let you peep in the story wholly. The title is an intelligent cover up and there should be no guessing before you start. It was well thought off.

Cover-

Like the title, same goes for the cover, subtle colours, soothing your eyes. Not allowing you to know the kind of story you are going to read, the emotions you are going to experience. But yes, if you think deep, you can know what it means after you step in.

http://thesubtlebraiding.blogspot.hk/2016/01/book-review-second-spring-by-sandhya.html

#secondspring #book #contemporary #romance #corporate #lovestory #courage #inspiration #loneliness #longing #meaningoflife, #lovestory #unconditionallove #novel #bestseller

Adventure in Kids Life

Why we need to introduce adventurous activities to the kids at early age?

Simple - they learn to get out of the comfort zone and build their mental and physical strength slowly and steadily. One activity will not help, but well planned series of activities that can be incorporated in annual travel or over the weekend will. As a parent, if we participate, it will help build better bonds. If not possible, send them in a camp for group activities. This will enhance the very basic core of a man's living spirit is - passion for adventure. Build the passion for life through travel, adventurous activities, experiencing different culture...it is not just seeing jungle, river or mountain; it is like attending natural learning classroom that can't be replaced by gigantic TV or thousands pages books. It is learning through experience of being there, feeling the environment that frees the mind and liberate the spirit.


This is a pictorial blog for everyone to share my personal experience with it. Let me introduce my son, Aryaman, 8 who has been enjoying adventure through during our travels and various outdoor activities since last three years. He is now bold, happy and blabbering about it...

Aryaman skiing Hokkaido, Japan

Since it require the participants to be an adult i.e. minimum age 18 to participate, he enjoyed the ride with the instructor. He did express his excitement with up and down 2 jours journey in Bali.

Quad Biking in Bali

This picture during our visit to Great wall. It was tough as weather was chilly and climbing stairs and walking on the wall was quite an experience for everyone...This visit gave different perspective towards the history. It was an adventurous and a learning experience.

Climbing The Great Wall in China

Kayaking was another super adventure that usually loved by most kids. Since they can activity participate in kayaking and rowing, they would love their involvement.

Kayaking in Phuket, Thailand

Great Wall Gun:

This great fun activity for kids near James Bond Island, near Phuket for kids...This is about 30 min (can be done longer under customised package) in and around caves. Another adventurous fun for kids.

Flying in the rainforest (Flying Hanuman) near Phuket

This is very intense 2+ hours session consisting of 28 activities in thick rainforest near Phuket, Thailand. The flying, walking in the jungle, climbing up/down the trees and many more adventurous fun. Everyone around us admired him and his guts.

Adventurous life

This is very intense 2+ hours session consisting of 28 activities in thick rainforest near Phuket, Thailand. The flying, walking in the jungle, climbing up/down the trees and many more

White Water rafting in Ayung River in Bali, Indonesia.

This is 2 hours rafting in rough Ayung River in Bali. Aryaman, my son (7 years at that time) had a blast...He climbed up/ down almost 200 steps to reach the river and completed the entire rafting with fun. He was the main entertainer on our boat. :)

Trekking in rainforest, Phuket, Thailand

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मंझिले

सालों की उम्मीदों को,

दिल की अरमानों को,

लेकर चला अपनी मंज्ञिलों को...

सामने वो खड़ी थी.....
मगर उसकी नज़र पराई थी,
आंखों में दुसरे की परछाईं थी,
एहसासों में कीसी की ख़ुशबु थी...

मुस्कुरा कर मैं ने कहा -
चलता हुँ मैं और
तु ख़याल रखना यहाँ...

सपने छुटे, उम्मीदें टूटे,
जब होश आया,
कहीं से कानों शब्द पड़े -
तु चला पाने अपनी मंज्ञिलों को,
तक़दीर हुँ मैं, जिसने
लिखी हैं तेरी मंज्ञिलों को...

ख़्वाईश और तक़दीर में
काफ़ी है अंतर है दोस्त...
तु ने सिर्फ़ अपनी ही सोची,
मैं ने उसमे औरों की भी सोची,
ये ही हैं नई मंज्ञिलें तेरी,
कर्म में ही अब तक़दीर हैं तेरी...

तेरा कर्म और मेरी लकीर,
दोनों से बुनी हैं तेरी तक़दीर,
अब बढ उस मंज्ञिल की ओर,
सामने हैं तेरा नया मुक़्क़दर,
भुल जा बीती पुरानी,
लिख ले अब नई कहानी...

#goal #success #life #beauty #heartbreak #love #destiny #poem #sandhyajane

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